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A Few Awfully Humorous Bar Jokes

By: Peter Rix

There is something about bars and drunks that appear to be the most common reason for jokes. Every person is familiar with a joke that begins "A chap walks into a bar" (and says Ouch!) and there's no doubt that drunks can be extremely humorous. Therefore listed here are a few pub jokes that you may not have heard already, however they are all extremely amusing, I promise you!

THE CRAZY BET WITH THE BARMAN
A guy strolls up to the bartender and states, "Do you see that glass over there in the corner? I am going to wager you £30 that I can piss in it from here!" The barman agrees, because the glass is miles way over on the other area of the pub.

Subsequently the guy unzips and pulls it out, then pisses in a million diverse directions, coming nowhere even near to the shot glass. In the meantime the barman is laughing so hard he can barely breathe.

"Pay up," gasps the barman, and cheerfully takes the money.
Meanwhile the gentleman pays up, and walks over then demands £200 from a third chap playing pool.

The bartender calls him back and asks, "Why did that bloke hand over you the money?"

And the first guy says, "'Cause I bet him £200 that I can piss all over your pub and you would just laugh about it!"

SEXY LADY IN A QUIET LOCAL BAR
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet neighborhood pub.

She gestures alluringly in the direction of the bartender, who comes over without delay. When he arrives, she sexily signals for him to bring his face adjacent to hers. As soon as he does so, she starts to softly stroke his beard, which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she purrs, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me -- I want to have a word to him." She is running her fingers up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid that I can't," breathes the barman, undoubtedly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I require you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his lips and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

THE GUINNESS BOSS AT THE BEER CONFERENCE
After the Great British Beer Festival, in London, all the global brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The chap from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's most excellent beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The man from Budweiser pronounces, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The Queen Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The gentleman from Coors says, "I'd like the solitary beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, present me a Coors." He gets it.
The man from Guinness sits down and states, "Give me an orange juice."

The bartender is a little shocked, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents glare over at him and inquire "Why aren't you having a Guinness?" and the Guinness president answers: "Well, I guess if you guys are having soft drinks, then so will I."

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Article Source: http://www.webcitymarketing.com/articles

My name is Pat McLachlan, and I have a Home Brewing website and another for Online Jokes! So this article is perfect to promote both websites!

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